Wednesday, June 29, 2011

My little girl is growing up!

I had a great day today, until, I picked up my kids!! Of course I love my kids, but they have this ability to totally drain me. Today I decided to meet the kids at the shops across the road from school. I thought I would buy them a treat before doing some groccery shopping before heading home. It sounded like a great idea and I knew the kids would be happy.

So I met them in front of Wendys. I broke the happy news, that they could choose a treat from Wendys. So this is when it all began! I should know by now, that I should only give me kids three things to choose from. Instead, I told them as long as it was less than $4 they could have it. My older two kids decided upon their third choice. My second youngest child, took a little longer. He first asked for a milkshake to which I replied, if you want to share it with me, that is fine. Of course, this was not on! I said the naughty word, SHARE! This son has a major issue with sharing his food. He can share toys, he can share his bedroom, but if you mention food and share in the same sentence he goes off, big time. So, yes, I had a tanty on my hands. This son is 5 so, the tanty was on big scale and I think he achieved 95% of the shopping centre's attention! So in the calmest voice I could muster, I made another offer.

"If you calm down and tell me what you would like, other than a milkshake, I will buy that for you."

Unfortunately this did not work. He started shouting, " You never buy me what I ask for!" I'm starting to think this might be part of the second youngest child's syndrome. He has this big hang up about how everyone else gets what they want and he never does, which of course, I don't believe for a second, it's true. Kids exaggerate things to find out what kind of reaction they will get. I paid for my other kid's items and went and sat them down and, again, in a calm voice. I told my son, if he calmed down, I would be happy to take him back to Wendy's just him and me, and buy him something. This calmed him down and he asked for a hotdog. So I bought him one. Thank goodness for that!

I wish the day ended here, however, after the kids ate their treats I had to get some food items. So we piled bags into the trolley and I fought a toddler to get into the trolley too, but I lost! I figured I needed to choose my battles carefully from here on in, as I wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible.  Once in the supermarket, the first 3 minutes went rather smoothly, but I was cautious, it was just too good to be true. By the time I hit the dairy cabinets for milk, it all started up. The kids went troppo, with the boys running up and down isles, my toddler crying for juice and so on and so on! I managed to get the kids to the check out with no yelling, yes I did pat myself on the back! I am getting better at this controling my temper thing! We got to the car and then my toddler started up. It is at this point that I think I might just lose it when my daughter says, " You get the boys in the car mum and I will pack the grocceries in". I'm in shock for about 3 seconds and with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye I organise the boys in their seat with belts on and then go to help my daughter. She is already finished and wheels the trolley back to the trolley bay. I sat in the front seat with time to take a deep breath. I thanked her for being so helpful and she smiles back and says, " Well you needed the help mum". Ahhh, she is growing up:o)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Where are the role models in the Music Industry?

  I am directing my post today to the young and vulnerable girls that populate our world. As a mother of  a 10 year old daughter I am a little worried. I worried about where the good role models are in the music world. Why am I worried? Well, I currently attend a gym and at this gym they have a music channel that runs all the time with all different music genres. Mostly it would be what I assume is the popular music. The music that teenagers would be drawn to and that freaks me out!! It really does, and in particular it freaks me out for young girls. The ones that love music and want to be grown up and turn to their music heros for direction on how to move/dance, how to dress and how to act. What I see on these video clips are girls/women who are scantily dressed, dancing like they should be in a strip club and acting like they don't value who they are. Why is it that a lot of women in the music industry feel the need to show off as much of their boobs, and other parts of their body to get 'noticed'. Music is about your voice, and how your voice affects the listener. When did this change to become more about a body than a voice? The only thing I can work out is those that don't have the voice, have the body and so need to sell that. However,  when you are listening to a record, you can't see the body, or the dance moves, you can only hear the voice.

The lyrics are also important. Listen to your favourite song, what is the message or story of the song? Do you know what it is? We need to be listening to the lyrics more, because we and our children and singing songs that could be inappropriate for their age groups. 

I am just worried for girls who are young and vulnerable and look to women in the music industry to work out how to be cool and accepted. They see how these women present themselves with their clothing, their language, their dance moves, and their interactions with the opposite sex, or sometimes the same sex. Its up to us mums, and whoever the caregiver/guardian is, to show girls how to respect themselves and not feel that its their body that is going to get them further. If we can teach our girls at a young age, we have a better chance of these values being blossoming in their minds when they decide to make their own choices and mums fall into the background(unwillingly of course). 

 I want to leave you with a female vocialist, that I absolutely love. I have many favourites, but this lady is modern and in the top 40 lists all over the world. She has an amzing voice and she is a good example of making it big because of her voice and not because she wears clothes that show off her boobs, or dances provocatively, or shows any indication of disrespecting herself.  I am sure you will fall in love with her voice too.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Lesson Learnt! Where do I find Happiness?

I haven't been happy for the last couple of weeks. I have had a smile on my face but I have not been happy. I had convinced myself that I would be much happier if my husband paid himself more money (self-employed) so that I would not have to work as much. I was so convinced that this would truly change everything and I would instantly be happier.
It was today, at church that I realised, that my happiness starts and ends with me. Its up to me to work out why I do the things I do and what I can make of it and what I can in turn learn. I work 3 days a week and I am a mum to 4 kids and I am a wife. That is a heck of a lot to take on, plus I love to blog. I put a lot of my spare time into my blogs because I really enjoy it. So,yeah, I have a lot on my plate, but I have chosen to do all these things, so how do I make the most of all them and not get too swamped and start feeling sorry for myself and falling back on the grumpy train. So here is what I figured.

I went back to work because my husband is self-employed. A couple of years ago things were tight and because I am a school teacher, I knew I would be able to get work fairly easily and the extra income would come in handy. I had a 9month old at the time. With the other kids they were at least 18months before I considered working again, so I was feeling a little gulity about him being so young, but desperate times call for desperate measures and I was blessed last year to find the school I currently work for. I teach children with special needs and I so love what I do. Its not only rewarding, it makes me happy and I work with amazingly awesome and inspiring people.  I was blessed again to get 3 days of work this year, which for me being a casual and having a commited 3 days a week for the next years is amazing! These are the things I  remind myself when I am feeling like I don't want to work anymore. Don't get me wrong, we all feel like that sometimes (or a lot!!) which is life but I have to remind myself what I do and why I do it. I also thinkg about how much pressure my husband must be feeling when it comes to providing for a family. Regardless of recent trends, as old fashion and traditional as it might sound, the common belief is that husband goes to work to provide for the family, while mum stays home and takes care of the kids and tries not to go insane!! Its what happens in a lot of families and history tells us, that generally speaking women cope better with having the role as the homemaker. So, the pressure is on the dad to go out and earn an income large enough to cover this lifestyle of a single income to support everyone. I know its my husband's wish to not have me work and spend all my time with the kids and taking care of the home(and clean....he wishes!!!) but right now this is our life and this is what we have to work around. We both work to pay the bills, we share the load. I am in the process of accepting this and I would hope that once I completely accept it and stop complaining about it, then I will find I may not have to work anymore, then I will miss it!! Well, its a hope and I am allowed to hope!! I am HAPPY to be able to share that responsiblitiy, and help my husband and in turn he hopefully won't have to feel too overwhelmed and not be happy himself.  I am HAPPY that I go to a work where everyone gets along and has fun with what we do. I am HAPPY that I do have 2 days off that I can spend with my youngest son and drop my kids off to school and pick them up and have that time with them. I really want to see these things in a different perspective so that I don't complain about it being a chore, but rather a priviledge and being HAPPY to do it.

** I just realised, that if I replace the word HAPPY with GRATEFUL, it makes sense but has a different meaning/feel to what you read***
Anyway, I just wanted to share this because I think its signnificant. Its so easy to think about all the negative things in life that can upset us and make us feel either inadequate or like we missing out on something.  We need to be reminding ourselves of what we have and why we have it.I worked this out at church and that's another thing I am truly grateful for. To be able to go to church, take my children and be part of something amazing. Church always makes me happy, even when I feel like not going, I make myself go and feel better once I am there. I also believe that a quest for happiness starts and ends with God. I truly believe that. Belief gives you a purpose, especially in yourself.

So these are my ramblings for the day. I hope I make sense:)